Bad drunks

People that ruin your night by being overly-smashed.

WOW this is one that i just couldnt hold myself back from writing about,

OK if u kno ur a shit drunk, why drink?

Theres a couple of different 'drunk-agories' 

1. crying drunk

2. dangerous and/or violent drunk

3. truthful drunk

4. deep drunk

5. hurling drunk

6. whore drunk

7.fun drunk

8. unconcious, possibly dead drunk

Ok lets start at the beginning

numero uno - crying drunk

this is one that gets on my nerves

especiallly when its someone i feel obliged to take care of and therefore ends in 

RUINING MY WHOLE NIGHT!!!

like ..umm

1. i dont care about your bf

2. i dont care if u think no one loves u

3. i dont care if u love me

4.still dont care if u love me
5. i most definately definatelly DO NOT GIVE A FLYING FUCKERROONIE
if you think your fat...
so yeee

NUMBER TWO
(dangers and/or violent drunk)

alriightttty then...
ok these kinda drunk ppl really do suck
there ALWAYS the ones that you have
to carry home coz their brains are fallin out their ears

they are also the ones that
1. bash you
2. get you bashed got they yell at people

3. get u arrested
4. get themselves arrested
5. get you chased down by
a) bunch of lads

b) bunch of bikies

c) stampede of POPO

d) bunch of jealous girlfriends (MOST LIFE THREATENING)

they are also the kind of people
that no matter how much you try to keep them under control
they will ALWAYS break something
in your house.
NO MATTER WHAT!

they also tend to be the people that
embarrass you and leave you with a life
of threats and grudges from other ppl that

they have fuckd up , in your name.

NOT COOL

3. TRUTHFUL DRUNK
haaha these ones are the best
they telll you all this stupid shit that you can eventually
use against them in the form of blackmail/bribery
it is verrry powerful
keep a close eye on these buggers.
there worth sitting there and listening too
TRUST ME

QUAATRRRRRRRO
deep drunk

okk now these can be half/half
you either get into a mad depression session
on how life sucks etc..
or some philosophical convo bout religion (blurrgh)
orrr some SICK
convo about deep shit
that can only be resolved
through drunken D&Ms
: )

FIIIVE
hurling drunkk
hahah these are my ultimate favs.
stupid head ppl who cant hold their liquor or stomach contents
SO FUUNNNNY
especially when they do it in front of everyone..
like could u not have the decency to do it behind a bush.. srsly

for some reason people always manage to vomit
on someone else....
its quite stupid
like YOU CAN TELL when your gona puke
and youd think you would aim away..
BUT NO!

How someone could find this sexually attractive astounds me
2 girls 1 finger...
CHECK IT OUT

like how is that ^^^ hot?

i dno maaan

SEXY SIX
whore drunk
LOOL yr 10s from our school much (cough cough)
Some people
when they drink
get themselves
into literal sticky situations
HAHA

and some people
just end up naked somewhere public
and the world will point and laugh

poing annnd laugh

consumption of alcohol may end in you wondering
where in fact all your clothes ended up
or
after mardi gras...
why your pants are down,
why theres glitter all over you
and why your butt is sore and sticky

THE ANSWER = ALCOHOL
(or roofies..)

its like naked-whore-potion
especially goon or passion pop
gets ppl to do some prettty freakky shit
e.g. 2 girls 1 cup
2 girls 1 finger
(the list is endless)

the downside to whorey drunks
is they usually rape your boyfriends
which sometimes sucks..
but hey
the more the merrier..

SEVEEEEEEEEN
The fun drunk

ahhh yess
i most definately fit into this one.
this is dedicated to those drunks
who are up to party
and will infact do as you ask of them
like
OI bro go and get that chicks number
and shit like that

they also doo verry funny things
that are fun to watch :)
likke

or

or even this

these people are purely the reason as to why i still drink today

SO THANKYOU FUN DRUNKS

you made my life.

Last and obviously least

8. unconciouss/dead drunks

WTF

these people need to seriously fuck off

people who pass out in REALLLY inconvenient times/places

annoy me.

like your trying to get some wher

and BAM!

someone passes out 

so u have to waste your whole life

helping them not to die 

and wait for them to awaken from their peaceful slumber

HEAPS NOT COOL AY

DRINK RESPONSIBLY BITCHES!!

jokes dont that takes out all the fun

LOVE SNOOKS

Facebook Status'

Alrighht we all love facebook.

Love hate relationships at least.

But what people must know is.... facebook is not your own personal problem diary

Stop bringing homo problems that know one cares about onto facebook...

this also includes stupid annoying status' that you will regret likin or commentin on.

Top five Shitty Status'

1. If you like this ill tell you how good u r (stop suckin ppls butt)

2. ...Im gonna kill myself (cheer up attention whore)

If you wana kill yourself, do it,

eg.

My heart is a safe, but the combination has been lost

(umm cry me a river then drown in it, that is a laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamee status)

3.OMFG you will never guess what just happened!!! (omfg u will never guess that no one cares!!)

4. Anything related to football e.g Roosters VS tigers (if i cared i would have looked it up on goog.)

not to mention the fact that football is pretty dam lame. im sorry it is...

like your watchin guys touchiin each other, rubbin their bodies against one another with great force

whilst gruntin and making other innappropriate noises, a gay mans porn.

5. Shitty song lyrics (i think this one annoys me the most perfect examples are "I throw my hands up in the air some times") im sorry but this is just not a legitamate reason to update your status, 

EXCEPTION - if its a REALLY good song with meaningful lyrics that arent emo

if its funny THEN say it. if its not, whisper it to yourself.

Oh another thing

people who constantly update their status like morre then 15 times a day

YOU EITHER:

a. have something legit or funny to say, its alll good (LEGIT REASON)

b.  are craving for someone to talk to

c.  dont actually know any of your facebook friends

d.  cant post it on anyones walll coz you know no one cares

e.  are socially retarded and cannot hold a decent conversation with anyone so instead you update status

f.  have no legit real social life

g.  are a fatt virus

h. are trying to see if anyone cares about you...... They probably don't

i. are listening to mad tunage that you want to inspire ppl with (LEGIT REASON)

ass mouth

bad dental hhygiene is a BIIIIGGG no no in my books

Teeth is one of the first things u see when u lookin at someone,

so keep em clean,

yeah not everyone can have straight as ricky martin pearly whites..

but still KEEP EMM CLEAN

i dont wana be smelling an ass when u open your mouth!

Baaaad breath

Like daaaaam is it really that hard to brush your teeth twice a day

chew on some gum

crack open the mints?

AHH no its not.

my 8yr old brother can do it, why cant chuu?

Oh and if someone is OFFERING you breath mints or gum

or listerine, dont deny it

there trying to hint you something assface!

Bad breath is like the BIIGGGEST turn off ever

like imagine your gettin into this mad sexy moment

u go in for the hook up

and you smell dog shit..

BLURRGH

like i dont wana be able to taste your bad breath in my mouth after you kiss me

that shit is just straight up nasty.

It can change me from Vixen to Virgin in 1 sec.

Like do u need someone to tell you?

can u not smell that stench when u open your mouth

like your nose is so big and soo sooo close

to your mouth so whats the problem?

do u have no sense of smell?

coz i wish i didnt right now,,

urrrgh i could vomit!

Hair on the head

Ok so every now and then you crave the feeling of a new hair do, whether it be straightening, curling, cuttin or colouring, everyone likes a lil change.

SOME PPL.. take this to the extreme, one of those pppl being me lol
Yes i am guilty of the D.I.Y extreme hair makeover
i once shaved half my hair off

Half my hair gone ^^^

and no it doesnt always turn out the best BUT its still the fun of doin summin crazy
and then you see those ppl that just go all out and its like DAM u R FINNNE
FOR EXAMPLE
my friend liv went from

Sexy with loong crazy mop hair toooo

EVEN SEXIER

with short hair...

hmm makes you wana cut your hair doesnt it

BUT then theres those crazy people

that you see in the city and china town

and your like OMFG i want that hairr

i have always wanted to have a fro

even just for the day, its like instant coolness as soon as it grows

to "FRO STATUS"

damm M.J (r.i.p) was tha shiiiit!!

alright.. to get technical this is actually a hat

although still can u honestly tell me u dont want one?

mmm..exactly

is it horrible that i wouldnt mind having this on the side of my head?

OH come on the creativity is amazing!

and then you see some people and your like wow u shouldnt 

have done that to your head....

this is really quite self explanitory

Greeeeeasyy.. is never hot

EVER

neither is the mullet, unless done with perfeection like

some of my Bros and cuzzzzins from auburn

like u have to think... what were u on when u did your hair.

You got 3 differents looks goin at once..

UMMM WTF

a pig tail on the side 

a bob

and then some crazy fringe-straightened-and-sprayed

thing

you look absolutely hair raped

SEE SOME ONE if your hair

matches this photo...

some one professional..

DAMM

Im sorry ice tips didnt even look

hot on Kriss Kross how did u expect it to look good on 

you?

MMMMMMMMM

necrophillia..

One of those awkward things no one wants to bring up..except me.
it puts the fun into funeral :)

personally..i dont see the attraction in rockin a dead bod

but everyone to their own i guess

instead i will make innappropriate jokes about it

OK here we go..

What do an Aussie and a necrophilliac have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one ;) ;)

There are pro's and cons thhougghhh..

ok

PROS

1. Your not gonna get the chick pregnant, or so they say
2. You dont have to commit, no strings attached
3. They dont expect to be pleased
4. You dont have to cook them breakfast in the morning
5. No awkward tryin-to-sneak-out-before-they-wake-up moments
6. You dont have to buy them a drink
7. A little Necrophilia never killed anyone.
8. There usually pretty easy and willing
9. Dead girls cant say no!
10. They never start an arguement when u ask to try anal
11. Necrophilia means never having to say you're sorry.
12. If you cant find her hole u can just make one

Necrophilia: putting the 'mating' into cremating.

Necrophilia! When you're just sick of the fucking nagging.

What's the difference between Necrophilia and date rape?

Just the body temperature...

Necrophilia... for rapists who can't win a fight

CONS

1. It can get pretty stinky
2. It could literally all fall apart
3. Theres quite a fair bit of effort in diggin them up, although this is pretty much easier and cheaper then finding a chick at a bar...
4. When they rot down to the bones it gets kinda rough
5. They could be stiffer then u are ;)
6. The worst part of Necrophilia would have to be that the foreplay is very one-sided.
7. 
   My sex life is fucking dead. - that's the thing about Necrophilia.
8. Its just plain old disrespectful
9. Bugs
10. Zombies
11. People are just living longer and longer these days

AND JUST FOR LAUGHS:
some of my fav sicko necro jokes

According to psychologists, if you show any of the following, you have the traits of Necrophilia:
- An interest in sickness.

- The belief that resolving conflict involves force or violence.

- An appreciation for machines over living people/animals
None of this applies to me.

I just enjoy fucking dead people.
 

• Twilight . The story of a young woman's choice to practice either bestiality or Necrophilia.
• Necrophilia: It's dead fun.
• Necrophilia - putting the rot in erotic
• I've never understood the fascination with Necrophilia. If I want to shag a cold, lifeless lump of meat that has seen better days, I'd just try to control my gag reflex and fuck the wife.
• Necrophilia - when you want something cool to slip into.
• Necrophilia. The only time during sex where the woman is stiffer than the man.
• Necrophilia: It's only sick if you don't wear a condom.
• Necrophilia: nature's way of telling you your love life's gone stale.
• Necrophilia. Because its so much hotter when they're cold.
• What is the best thing about Necrophilia? They won't fake it!
  
  
  
  
  HAHAHHA i <3 inappropriate topics
XXX SNOOKS

Fugly Maternity Clothes

Okay lets get this party started....
Why is it that when your pregnant your are reduced to either having to wear clothes that let your belly bulge out in every direction, makin u look like a stripper OR reallly fugly maternity clothes, is it THAT hard to make nice maternity clothes..??!!

fugly maternity shirts


or you have to loook like a skanky hoe with a mid-drift on

OK wow, what the hell is that? As if this dress wasn't ugly enough but wait theres more!
it pops open into a maternity dress.. ok she looks  like a caterpillar..

wow.. i have nothin more to say..

i hope i dont get preggers!! LOL